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A drunk young man was annoying Amelia, and I changed him into a green pig. When he sobers up, the spell will disappear, but he won’t remember what happened to him,” Greg told the Maitre D’.“But where is he?” Aldo asked in a whisper, as he looked around for the pig.“He’s over on the bandstand. After you close have some of the waiters carry him out to his car, and everything will be fine in the morning,” Greg assured him with a smile. Aldo hurried off to check on the drunk pig.“How long does it take for a pig to absorb and burn off the amount of alcohol that he had in his system?” I asked, feeling somewhat guilty.“I have no idea,” Greg replied and turned to look at Sylvia.“I don’t believe that the subject has ever come under medical consideration,” the veterinarian told us with a smile. “But I would expect much the same as a human, as pigs are frequently used to test things due to their similarity to humans,” she added with a smile.We finished our leisurely dinner following that, but a. Obviously, the people whom I had assumed cared for me really did not. It took a few days but suddenly I was eating better, joined a gym and was paying more attention to my personal hygiene.Early on during the "Crap" period of my life, in a fit of anger, I had destroyed my cell phone. I just stomped on it until there was just a jumble of pieces that made it impossible to make or receive phone calls. When I went to my carrier for a new phone, they must been having a bad day also since they completely pissed me off.The result of that was a new carrier, a new cell phone and a new phone number. I had cancelled my home phone service a few years ago since Leanne and I both had cell phones, so there was need for anything else. Now if anyone did not call me at work then they did not call me at all. I guarded my new number like a pit bull and was very, very selective in giving it out.Sometime near the end of month four of my "Crap" period, the office receptionist, Paula, called me on my office.
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